Dear Stephenie Meyer,
lemme break it down to ya...Vampires do NOT sparkle. NOT NOT NOT. Next
thing ya know they're gonna be driving volvos and staying abstinent
Oh yeah. I forgot. Your vampires do
that too...Well, at least they don't hop and skip through the trees like
fairies or anything. Crap. Sorry. Forgot that one too!
(clears throat, turns red) Moving on!
the deal is that these vampires are flying through the trees (sometimes
carrying each other on their backs), sparkling in the sunlight like
RuPaul on parade, and deer hunting? I just don't get it! I'm a fairly
educated woman. I read all the time. I read everything I can get my
hands on, and I've read the entire four book saga, but I still don't
understand the craziness that is Twilight...Can anyone explain this crap
Take Dracula for an example. He could walk
around in daylight if I'm not mistaken, right? But, was it not true that
he had to save his energy or build up his energy or whatever in order
to do so? And in all honesty, could you ever see good ol' Prince Vlad
sparkling? No, I didn't think so...
About the eating
animals and not people, wasn't one of Anne Rice's vampires a rat eater
for a small time? Um, that's because he wasn't used to his vampire self.
Not because he chose to do so.
don't take this the wrong way. I think your writing style is great, the
characters are almost great, and your plots are pretty great too. Just
some of the specifics are a little difficult to understand.
have to applaud you, however. Never before have vampires been so darn
hot! Not only that, but I've never been torn between a hunky vampire and
a sexy werewolf. Those characters wouldn't be so yummy if you hadn't
written them that way.
*This post was originally posted in Rhiannon's Paranormally Romantic Bits & Pieces about a year ago.*
I'd like to add that since Ms. Meyer has created sparkling monsters, REAL vampire books like mine have never sold so well. Thank you Ms. Meyer for allowing readers to revolt and start buying books about real bloodsuckers again. Without you, I might almost be out of business.